Almost everyone you know has gone
through at least one breakup in their life, possibly more, even you might have
gone through the same. Sometimes it can be hard to understand why what appears
to be a beautiful, healthy relationship ends in complete and utter chaos. The
practice is becoming more and more common in today’s society. Divorce rates have gotten higher compared to previous generations. Let’s try and get to the
bottom of such disintegration.
Lack of Communication
Communication is a cornerstone of
a healthy bond between two people. The first and most common reason most long-lasting relationships fail is miscommunication or lack of communication. This happens
when two people cannot effectively get through to each other and fail to
understand what the other person wants to tell them.
A lack of communication can drive
a wedge between two people. They end up withdrawing from constructive
discussions and become passive-aggressive towards each other. They may also engage
in cyclical arguments and get defensive. Conflict can do severe irreversible
damage to a relationship. Expecting that the partner will be able to read your
mind or decipher your body language to figure out what you feel is humanly impossible
and a recipe for disaster.
A relationship where two people
don’t feel safe and comfortable is extremely unhealthy and toxic. People in
such relationships exhibit misdirected anger at each other, worsening the
situation. Not caring for accountability, refusing to listen, hesitation from
apologizing, and apathy towards your partner all lead to miscommunication and
misunderstandings. Communication gaps also contribute to feelings of
inadequacy, insecurities, loneliness, and a negative opinion of your partner.
Some people just aren’t meant to
be together, and no amount of physical chemistry will change that. No matter
how hard you try to make it work, if you have too many differences, it’s very
likely the relationship will not last.
There are multiple ways in which
two people may differ from each other. These reasons could be that one of them is
extroverted and the other introverted, one having an anxious attachment and the
other avoidantly attached. There could also be religious or political
differences, mismatched senses of humour, differing love languages, or even varying
A lack of compatibility can make
it nearly impossible for a relationship to work, and even if you manage to make
it work, both of you might end up sacrificing your morals and values. A refusal
to compromise adds to strife. Understanding your significant other and having
them know you is the foundation of a healthy bond. When you think about the
future, you should ensure you and your partner are on the same page. When it
comes to intellectual capacity and emotional intelligence, you should be on the
Often, two people just aren’t on
the same page. They have different perspectives on important decisions like
finances, marriage, kids, and so on. They could also have different life goals
and relationship goals. Having an age difference can cause problems when
they’re trying to communicate or understand each other. Due to having different
life experiences and maturity levels.
Pegging outlandish expectations on
each other is an absolute deal-breaker. One of you could be looking for a
casual no-labels attachment, while the other could be wanting a serious
long-term commitment. One of you might be monogamous, and the other could be
polyamorous; an irreconcilable difference.
A refusal to be open and clear
about your expectations can be disastrous. Even small things like having no
common interests can make a relationship fall apart in the long run. If you
have different expectations, you won’t be able to be yourself when you’re with
Trust and transparency are factors
that hold two people together. A relationship not built on trust can fall apart
very quickly. When you don’t trust your partner, you will likely exhibit irrational
jealousy and possessiveness over your partner. You may develop an urge to
control the other person and try to make the decisions for them. You could
become skeptical and suspicious about your partner and their intentions.
This may result from you or your
partner being dishonest, keeping secrets, lying to each other, and worrying
about infidelity. And if one of you has cheated, there is no way to gain back
broken trust. Decade-long relations can be shattered in minutes, and there is
no going back.
If you don’t accept and love your
partner for who they are, they are not the ‘right one. You’re setting yourself
up for disappointment. Nobody is perfect, and nobody will ever be able to match
Trying to change someone is counterproductive
to making them feel comfortable around you. Comparing your partner to someone
else or your relationship to someone else’s is a bad idea. Your partner might
feel resentful towards you if you don’t accept them the way they are.
Obviously, there is no such thing
as a perfect relationship. If the bad moments outweigh the good ones, it’s time
to pause, take a good look at yourself and your partner, and reflect on your
relationship. There are still ways a broken relationship can be healed if you
know how to go about.7Secrets to What Makes Love Last by Arturo James Daly is an excellent
book with guidelines one needs to fix their love life. The book can be a saving
grace for couples trying to keep their relationship or marriages from falling
apart. If your relationship is healthy, this book is still helpful because it
aids in sustaining, improving, and fortifying your relationship. Happy reading!